Friday, July 12, 2013

Haleem on my mind

Date a girl who likes haleem. Date a girl who...ok enough sorry. I did not know how to begin this post in my excitement to come straight to the point. Here's the tl;dr version of it:

I WILL BE EATING HALEEM EVERYDAY FOR THE NEXT 29 DAYS AND I WILL REVIEW IT. FOR YOU. ONLY FOR YOU. ANY JOY OF CULINARY ECSTASY I EXPERIENCE WILL BE COMMUNICATED TO YOU. YEEHAAW!!!!

Now the too long, un-capitalized version of it:

There are few things in life that give me as much joy as breakfast, lunch and dinner. In his infinite wisdom, God requires me to give up these very things for one whole month. In case you missed it in my exceptionally secular name, I'm Muslim and this is Ramadan. Every year for about a month, I wake up at 330 am, share a meal with family, and then spend the rest of the day trying to ignore my empty stomach and parched throat. There is a heavy focus on piety as I try to wrap my head around the 'why am I here' and 'am I a good person' internal dialogue with a theological context to it, but, I feel ashamed to say, my dominant thought is that of food. 

The lack of it especially.

So what superhuman resolve is it that gets me through the day? How strong is my willpower? All these questions pale before the magnificence of my answer: Heavenly reward aside, the best part of my day in Ramzan is when I can finally dip a spoon into a bowl full of haleem. This:



If there was a ever a dish made to satisfy every taste bud you were born with, this is it. If there was ever a dish for which the phrase 'silver lining' would be wholly inadequate, this is it. If you have wanted to use the phrase 'nectar of the Gods' and did not know where to, then haleem could step up and be that answer. I'd bet that if there was ever a test for Hyderabadi-ness, identifying the restaurant by the taste of its Haleem would be pretty efficient. 

With every hotel worth its Osmani biscuit telling all and sundry that they offer the best and finest Irani haleem, it can get a little confusing for the Haleem lover. So here's the idea. I'm going to be eating a bowl of haleem every day for the rest of this Ramzan and will review it. If you would like to add you own reviews or places where you would like to get a review of, mention/link to it in the comments!

PS: Also, it's 6pm, I am fasting and right now all I can think of is haleem. I firmly believe that done right, this dish could bring about world peace.

EDIT: I overdosed on haleem and my digestive system rose up in revolt. I have to abandon this journey on the first weekend itself! I am deeply, immeasurably saddened and heart broken. Until next time.